Diet of Sin

The longer I'm on a diet, the more I see parallels between constantly deviating from that plan, and deviating from God's law. I know this is a really terrible analogy, but just hear me out (or read me out, I guess). I'll just give you what I went through, since I'm sure it's similar to others' situations.

I started out on the diet, and I was excited. I saw pictures of where some of the people in the group had come from, and I wanted that. So I joined, and started eating like they did, and following the plan. The first few weeks the diet was iron clad. Nobody could get me to eat anything that I didn't know the points value to first. I was loosing so much initially that they were telling me at Weight Watchers that I needed to eat more, or exercise less, because it wasn't healthy to lose 3 to 5 pounds a week. I didn't care, I knew I was following the rules, and it was working for me. As time progressed, however, I started to yearn for "real people food." A man can only eat fruit and frozen products so much before he wants some steak. So gradually I started eating more, and worse things for me. I tried to fit it in to my daily allowance, but generally it just went over, and after a while that didn't really bother me either. In the beginning, I was working out like a champ, getting up at 5:30 every morning to bang out some PT, and then go to work at 9. Soon it got to the point where I quit working out for one reason or another (or at least that's what I told myself.) Things started coming up where I couldn't go and weigh in to see if I was losing or not. Finally, I was still paying for the program, but that was the only representation that I was still in. My actions and thoughts were so far away from dieting, it was like I never even started.

I'm sure you've seen some parallels already of life before God and dieting. Again, for me this is how it went. In the beginning, I was so stout in my "extensive" knowledge of God's law that I was out to fix everybody's problems. I knew what to do and not do, and I knew not to even get near things that would get me involved with things on the naughty list. As time went I forgot the significance of Christ's sacrifice, and I started to embrace the things that I used to ignore back when I was "on fire." My fervor kept tapering off even further as I started to want what I thought everybody else could have and enjoy except for me because I loved Jesus. This drew me further away from the truth that I knew deep down. Finally it got to the point that the only thing that distinguished me as a Christian at all was where I went on sunday morning, and my vocabulary.

In both cases, I snapped back. With the diet, I just felt so awful after constantly breaking the rules that I knew that if I continued that I was only going to hurt myself and my future. Unfortunately, in regards to my sin, it takes me much longer to come to the same conclusion. I constantly break God's law, and spit in the face of Christ's sacrifice, and really God is trying to show me that in pursuit of what I think is good for me, I am again just hurting myself, my future, and even those around me.

God is constantly trying to point out how His ways are going to lead to joy, and mine are not. Galatians 5:16-17 says this:

"Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do."

As an American, it goes against the grain to think that I'm not allowed to do what I want. God's mercy enables us to indeed do whatever we want, but his grace enables us to see that we aren't ever going to be satisfied unless we trust in what he is trying to tell us. Thank God that I'm not left to what I want to do. My life would be a facade of false righteousness if not for Christ setting me free from the bonds of my sin.

"And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." Gal 5:24-25

Mimes & Problematic Realizations

Ever heard, "It'll catch up to him one day," or "we'll see how long that lasts"? It's something that I've thought about before, but lately God keeps reminding me of my problematic thought process. So here it is: what if it doesn't?

Many times I find myself thinking about how "everybody else does it" and how I honestly wish I could do it that way sometimes. My sin takes over my thoughts, and throws stuff out there like: Why do I have to care about God's law? The bigger question my sin will bring up is why I even care what the Bible says anyway, because I look around and everybody else is doing just fine. As a Christian looking at people who aren't and seeing they are doing fine, I would like to assume that they're hurting deep down, and that somehow it'll all come screaming up at them one day, and they're going to fall down before God, or realize that they've been wrong. Then all will be right. But if there's one thing I've learned in my brief time on earth, is that nothing is right or fair.

I think some of this thinking comes from Biblical truth. In my head, I know that everybody needs Jesus. All people are sinners in need of a savior, but how that works out is the question. What if there are some people in my life, that while I think that Jesus would do them well, they just disagree? Getting back to the question: what if it doesn't catch up with them? What if they live their whole life, and while they might feel guilty a time or two, there's nothing tugging at their heart to repent and come to Jesus.

From my Christian "boundaries" I see people that get to do all the things I wish I could do, and I rationalize that some day they're going to be sorry. It really works out to be a power trip on my part. I'm better than them, because I have Jesus, and they'll be sorry sooner or later. Real life works itself out differently than I think it should from my ivory tower. Real people don't care about God or Jesus because it gives them unnecessary rules. Real people don't need Him because they've got it handled, and they always have so why give up control? Real people aren't "going to be sorry one day" because there's nothing there telling them that they should be.

This brings me to my point. I can tell people about Jesus, I can "live the life in front of them" like a good Baptist, and I can even try to live a life contrary to conventional church in an effort to pique their interest. But I can't make them need Jesus. God's mercy and grace extends to all that will come to Jesus, but the truth that I have a hard time swallowing is that most people just won't. Most people will live their lives, and die without ever having known Jesus. They won't wonder what could have been because they've lived a "full life." There's nothing that I can do to make people care.

It's also not right to think of me as bound, and as people needing Jesus as free. Just to be clear, I know the right thing: To live is Christ, and to die is gain. I am glad that God brought me out from under my shroud of ignorance of my sin. I know that I was wrong, and I know that God is the only one who can cleanse me and save me from my self appointed fate in hell. What he does for me eternally, he does for me on earth as well. He frees me from the bondage of sin in the here and now, and that makes my life different than those around me. The lie that my sinful heart tells me is that if I would just turn back and embrace my sin, then I would be happier than trying to follow all these rules that God has set.

The bottom line to all of this is twofold. First, looking at other people's sin and assuming anything is never a good idea. It shows that you as a follower of Christ aren't abiding in Him and working to know him better and be satisfied in Him. Second, once you've realized that the problem is you and not God, you understand that people aren't going to come to Christ on their own. That's why Jesus tells us to tell them, love them, and live it out for them.

I imagine most Christians consider evangelism as a street mime. We're afraid to speak, so we mime what we mean, in hopes that others get it. Don't be a mime. Pray that God gives you the words to match the works.

Incompentence

The other day I was busy washing the cars in the front yard, and one of the neighbors came over to say he was deploying again. He got to telling us that this would be his 6th time going to Iraq or Afghanistan, and that just blew us away. So in the course of talking and asking questions about his next steps, his spiritual condition came up. There were three of us in the front yard, and I didn't want to seem like we were teaming up on him, so I did a lot of listening.

Unfortunately there is a popular notion that God is only this loving, marshmallowy, pushover-god that doesn't like it when you sin, but there's really nothing he does to you or about it. He just sits back at a distance and sees what you're doing, and shakes his head. The worst part of this theology is that you have to change your behavior and fix yourself to come to believe in God. All this was summed up into the lump of "being religious," whatever that means. On a side note, religious is one of those phrases I hate because of how many uses we've given it. We say that people watch football religiously, or get up at a certain time in the morning religiously. People then turn around and say, "Well, I'm not religious, that's fine for you, but I just can't get into that." Relativism aside, everybody is religious in some degree (although a better definition would probably be habitual).

So as we talked to the soldier, or rather listened to things that have gone on overseas, he painted this picture of himself as a horrible guy, that is in the business of killing. His concern and really his barrier that he's built up between himself and God is that he doesn't believe that God condones killing. How can God, who said "Thou shall not murder" stand to love a man that is paid to kill others. He's also the lead in the convoy, and takes pride in how perceptive he is, and that it's because of him that everybody in the convoy is safe. Trust in God had never crossed his mind, because he's got it handled.

At one point, as I listened to those on the porch go round in circles, I just threw it out there that chaplains and the Army Chaplain Corps would be the best resource he'd have. And then he told me how every chaplain he'd ever encountered was a pansy, and therefore not a soldier. He said he was prepping a convoy to leave, and a chaplain got into his vehicle, and as they pulled out, the chaplain asked, "Wait, are you the lead?" When affirmation followed, he immediately ordered the NCO to stop the vehicle, he didn't realize he was in the front, and he shouldn't be up there.

The bottom line is this: you can't expect to talk to soldiers about God if you treat them like a barrier between you and danger. A leader can't use his soldiers as a shield from the enemy just because he's scared. That chaplain did a great job at making sure this soldier held him in low regard, because he was too good to be close to danger.

Now I'm not Rambo or anything, I don't like the idea of getting shot at any more than the next guy. I also believe in the job that chaplains are there to do, and after talking to this guy, it makes me angry that there are some out there that are more focused on looking out for #1 than sharing the Gospel with men and women in the army.

Just to clarify: God does not condone murder. Serving in the military is not the business of murder, no matter how much the hippies in the 60s (or today for that matter) want you to believe it. While killing the enemy is part of the job, there is a very real difference between murdering a man, and killing an enemy soldier, that given the opportunity would gladly kill you, and might even shoot your family just for being American. That you would have to ask for forgiveness for murder every time you do your job as a soldier is not the spirit of the Law God has given us.

Firsts and Self

Apparently there's a lot to growing up, as I'm coming to find out. Lately there have been a lot of firsts for me; first auto loan, first car negotiation, first time to own 2 cars. All these to say that stepping away from dependence on family and onto your own may be common, but nobody really tells you how. I think it would be tough for anyone to try anyway.

There have been more than a few situations where I've seen God point out my faults in a not so subtle way. Lately the gift that keeps on giving is selfishness. With the wedding coming up, its easy to be excited about all that comes with that: new lifestyle, new living arrangements, moving away from Columbus, and of course sex. A few months ago I felt like I had all the time in the world, that it would be just centuries before I would get married. Now its already October, and it feels like I just skipped 3 months of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad its coming so quickly, but at the same time I feel like the stage lights are being faded up brighter and brighter on my faults the closer the day comes when I have to share my life, and all of myself with another human being. The more I find out about biblical manhood, the attainability becomes less and less. The good news is, its not up to me to fix myself.

Sacrifice is the name of the game with biblical manhood. 1 Peter 3:7 says

"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. "

Growing up I learned to live with (and under) my parents rules. In college I learned to live and deal with others my age, and to develop my understanding of how God wants me to live. Up till now, it's been about what I can derive from things around me to make me the most happy. What Peter is getting at above is that for me to serve God best, I have to quit thinking about my happiness, and start thinking of my willingness.

So all the times I want to complain about women just being overly sensitive, and their emotions getting in the way just doesn't honor God. The truth is that when I'm sick, I certainly won't be complaining about how sensitive or caring my wife is. The last statement is what drives it home. If men don't treat their wives with respect and live with them understanding their feelings and differences, even if that means we might have to actually listen and try some of the time, the God won't honor our prayers. He won't listen to you if you're actively disobeying him, and pointing the finger at your wife to change.

Bottom line? God demands of men to serve the women that He's provided for them. And he gives us the tools to do it. All it takes is humility, and constantly reminding yourself who is in charge.

Brad Paisley's song "The Pants" is a good ending to this thought. One of his lyrics "It's not who wears the pants, it's who wears the skirt," is partially correct. I would expound on it a little more: You may wear the pants, but they're given to you by God to protect, serve, and love your wife, who wears the skirt, and you should serve her in a way that honors both God and your wife, and that means that you might not get your way all the time, but since its not about you, who cares?

Friends and Accountability

This weekend has been great. Ever since I've reclaimed my weekend from the car lot I've been looking forward to coming back down to see friends back in Mobile. There's never enough time to see everybody, and for that reason I guess I wish that I could stay for weeks. It's been too long since I had a chance to get with another guy and talk about what's going on in my life. I know accountability is a popular topic in church, but it doesn't come about much. In my experience church just isn't full of people that are willing to hear your problems. If you have things going on, you gotta fix them before you show up to worship, instead of coming to the community of sinners to worship a perfect God who can and has completed you in Christ.

Lately it's been tough to not equate my sin as what Matt Chandler has been referring to as a "victimless crime." Too often I find myself thinking about the consequences to me for my sin. The problem is that it's never about anyone else. The common denominator is that God hates sin, and even when He saves you, he hates your sin, therefore you have to stop sinning to really follow him. The more I live as a Christian and in the church the more I realize how ridiculous that is. You can't fix who you are to be who you're not. You can't stop sinning for the sake of not sinning. The pursuit of righteousness is the only goal worth striving for, and in the end Christ is the only reason I should even care in the first place. If I just wanted to be "better," whatever that means to me, then I don't need church or God. But if I want to be sanctified, then I need Him.