Expectations

I love working with the youth. It keeps it interesting. We spoke about something last night that was pretty close to my heart; that of missionaries and their expectations for the Christian life. The problem we face as believers in the states is that we drastically underestimate our Father, because that's the way we've always done it. We've formed our expectations of how God should act and work and move in our hearts, because we've built our church around our religion, not our trust in the spirit and our faith in the Living God.

I've been on a few mission trips over the years, and what I can always say when I get back is the people living amongst the lost are incredible. You can see the Holy Spirit in everything they do, and it's humbling. The norm that I've built up in my head, the quota for every day that proves to myself that I'm a "good" christian are destroyed when I meet people actually living like God intends us all to live.

I know it's tough to hammer out the word in our lives, but I think that just our expectation of that is part of the problem. It's not our job to work out how to be better christians, but to to just learn to listen. I spend the majority of my time trying to take the reigns from God, and sometimes he even pretends to let me.

I was at work the other day, and my boss's granddaughter came in. She was really cute, and he had her in his lap and she was making noises and at one point she grabbed a sharpie and with the cap on, leaned over the paper and looked as if she was hard at work. I'm like that 1 year old, that keeps believing that my way is better than his way. The truth is that my boss was still behind her, keeping her from falling off his lap, making sure she didn't eat the pen, and generally keeping her from wrecking herself.

Mentally, most christians are tiny children in their actions and thoughts about spirituality, whether American or not. I don't listen to God because I don't know what to expect if I do. How do I change my life and relinquish control to the sandcastle that I've so carefully built? More importantly, I have to understand that I am not the center, and end all of my life. My finances are not going to dictate my future, nor is my relationship with those around me, or my popularity with those at work or anywhere else. God holds my future before me, and if I would just unclench and open my eyes, and trust Him who made and saved me,  what would happen?

"To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul. 

O my god, in you I trust;

let me not be put to shame;

let not my enemies exult over me. 

Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;

they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous. 

Make me to know your ways, O LORD;

teach me your paths.

Lead me in your truth and teach me.

for you are the God of my salvation;

for you I wait all day long. 

Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love,

for they have been from of old. 

Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;

according to your steadfast love remember me,

for the sake of your goodness, o LORD!

Good and upright is the LORD;

therefore he instructs sinners in the way. 

He leads the humble in what is right,

and teaches the humble his way.

All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and testimonies.

For your name's sake, O LORD, 

pardon my guilt, for it is great.

Who is the man who fears the LORD?

Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. "

Psalm 25:1-12