Ewige Leben

Are You Sure You're Ready?

2010-05-20T06:17:00.000-04:00

If there is one question I look forward to leaving far behind me it's: "Are you sure you're ready to get married?"

First: Is anyone really ready? Marriage is the definition of selflessness. God calls us to esteem others more highly than we do ourselves, (Phil 2:3) and if there's anything I do especially poorly, it's not putting myself first in all things. I'm willing to give it a shot though. Nobody's perfect at a thing they have never tried, and I would rather strive to love my wife and lead my family to the best of my ability and with God's grace than just not do it because I want to wait until I have more "life experience."

Second: What is the alternative? Ok Mr question asker: what would you suggest? I want to get married to share my life with the woman that I love, to solidify my commitment to her, for both her comfort and mine, and to start my adult life from the beginning with her. I am not interested in waiting, because what the heck am I waiting for? I have found a woman that I love, I know I want to have her stick around from now on, so what else is there to wait and see about? To make sure I'm sure? This line of thought annoys me more than any because it's always about the asker and never about the person being asked.

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Gen 2:24

The world has is backwards. People want to have the commitment and security of marriage, and the freedom and ability to "move on" of singleness. You are to meet someone, and do all the things that married people do, so that you can make sure you are good together, and then you decide to be together. Have sex, live together, share money, and have babies. We have to be sure that we can handle life before we commit. I say that it's silly, immature, and irresponsible to do anything other than get married early. Suck on that, world.

Men should be eagerly searching for their wife as early on as they can be. Instead we're playing video games, watching box sets of TV series and consuming large quantities of beer, mt dew, and pizza. We should be seeking God's wisdom and direction in the kind of woman to marry, instead we trust in our humanistic experience (because that always goes well for us, hah) to lead us to the right kind of woman. We are to save a sexual relationship until marriage, and instead we want to make sure we like it with this person, or an even dumber reason: we just want to do what we want to do. If you're not ready to be married, you need to grow up, be a man, and repent of your selfishness before God.

Some people are spiritually gifted for singleness, and some God is keeping single for seasons in their life, and those people I'm not talking about. I'm talking about those people that want to look and act married, without actually being married.

So I thank God for his provision in my life; for a fiancee and for the direction He is leading me. I may not be grown up, and I may be immature, but my desire is to grow up with a wife that loves me and me her, and to mature in Christ together as a family. Am I ready?

I can't wait.

A Man's Environment

2010-05-07T00:38:00.004-04:00

"But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among the saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure or who is covetous (that is, an idolator) has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore, do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord." (Eph 5:3-8. emphasis mine)

Before I say anything, I'm not in the habit of making one thing a hill to die on. Anything that we raise above the headship of Christ in our lives is an idol. That said, here goes:

What I believe is choking the spiritual development of American men today has a lot to do with the duplicity of their lives. We have multiple personalities, those men we are with the ladies, with the guys, at work, at home, with our grandparents, and so on.

Men are not created differently now than they were 10 years ago, 50 years ago, or 1,000 years ago. Most of the problem (myself included) shows itself when we try and look backward at the last generation for guidance. We assume that those before know better. The truth of it is we can't discern our own way through the mistakes of the past. We can't navigate an unknown road blindfolded and only being allowed information on where we've been.

We use those we know, either co-workers, or well meaning friends to tell us what right looks like. Between that, and listening to our own flesh, we've managed to create what has been described to me as a "man's environment."

For those unfamiliar with the "man's environment," it is a place where slander, swearing, crudeness, and filthy language prevail. Think men's high school locker room. Think men on a fishing, hiking, any kind of trip. The man's environment is where it is just ok to relax our morals. Its the man most men don't let their wives see. The same man that wouldn't appreciate the idea of his kids seeing him in his "man's environment."

But it's painfully obvious that God does not allow us to "just be men." On the contrary, he requires that we are more than just men, that we put on Christ. I enjoy a good list as much as any Baptist, but the real point I'm trying to make is this: the measure of a man's heart can be found in what he does most naturally.

So here it is: God desires for us to be one man, covered in the blood of Christ, redeemed and full of thanksgiving for the new life that he provides through faith alone. This man is not interested in blending in to the world, because light is not able to blend in to darkness. All He is asking for is consistency, and even simpler than that, he is asking us to recognize that we are unable to reign it in on our own. We need Jesus, and we need salvation, because in and of ourselves we are going to be multi-sided men who strive to be everything to everybody, failing on all counts (sooner or later).

Paul says that anyone who is an idolator will not inherit the kingdom. It's time to lay your cards on the table. What is it that you compartmentalize in your life? Is it worth hanging on to, compared to the promise of salvation? What is it that you raise above your relationship with God? When will you stop explaining yourself, and realize that God knows you better than any of your excuses? Repent and believe that He is good!

Expectations

2010-04-22T08:43:00.000-04:00

I love working with the youth. It keeps it interesting. We spoke about something last night that was pretty close to my heart; that of missionaries and their expectations for the Christian life. The problem we face as believers in the states is that we drastically underestimate our Father, because that's the way we've always done it. We've formed our expectations of how God should act and work and move in our hearts, because we've built our church around our religion, not our trust in the spirit and our faith in the Living God.

I've been on a few mission trips over the years, and what I can always say when I get back is the people living amongst the lost are incredible. You can see the Holy Spirit in everything they do, and it's humbling. The norm that I've built up in my head, the quota for every day that proves to myself that I'm a "good" christian are destroyed when I meet people actually living like God intends us all to live.

I know it's tough to hammer out the word in our lives, but I think that just our expectation of that is part of the problem. It's not our job to work out how to be better christians, but to to just learn to listen. I spend the majority of my time trying to take the reigns from God, and sometimes he even pretends to let me.

I was at work the other day, and my boss's granddaughter came in. She was really cute, and he had her in his lap and she was making noises and at one point she grabbed a sharpie and with the cap on, leaned over the paper and looked as if she was hard at work. I'm like that 1 year old, that keeps believing that my way is better than his way. The truth is that my boss was still behind her, keeping her from falling off his lap, making sure she didn't eat the pen, and generally keeping her from wrecking herself.

Mentally, most christians are tiny children in their actions and thoughts about spirituality, whether American or not. I don't listen to God because I don't know what to expect if I do. How do I change my life and relinquish control to the sandcastle that I've so carefully built? More importantly, I have to understand that I am not the center, and end all of my life. My finances are not going to dictate my future, nor is my relationship with those around me, or my popularity with those at work or anywhere else. God holds my future before me, and if I would just unclench and open my eyes, and trust Him who made and saved me, what would happen?

"To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.

O my god, in you I trust;

let me not be put to shame;

let not my enemies exult over me.

Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;

they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

Make me to know your ways, O LORD;

teach me your paths.

Lead me in your truth and teach me.

for you are the God of my salvation;

for you I wait all day long.

Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love,

for they have been from of old.

Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;

according to your steadfast love remember me,

for the sake of your goodness, o LORD!

Good and upright is the LORD;

therefore he instructs sinners in the way.

He leads the humble in what is right,

and teaches the humble his way.

All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and testimonies.

For your name's sake, O LORD,

pardon my guilt, for it is great.

Who is the man who fears the LORD?

Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. "

Psalm 25:1-12

Wake from Sleep

2010-03-02T23:12:00.001-05:00

“…you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” - Romans 13:11-14

I usually listen to the radio in the morning right around the time when I'm still too foggy to exercise or read my bible. Today was a special experience for me, in that I was so quickly offended by what they were saying, and I had to switch it off. I don't offend easily, and part of the reason I listen to the radio, and read the news is to try and keep up with what America has to say about things for which God's already provided the answer.

So the topic was how women's sex lives are better, more specifically, how women are having less sex, but what sex they are having is wilder. The radio folks are operating under the assumption (they stated) that women just know more about sex than they used to, and they are allowed more freedom and accessibility to sexual content and paraphernalia. I won't quote what was said, but I will say they went into unnecessary detail about the use of adult "toys," and how if given to women of years ago, they wouldn't know what to do with them.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing so early in the morning. So they roll on along, and I get to hear one heartbreaking story after another. Woman after woman all have the same testimony: I was married, now I'm divorced, now the guy I'm with we have great sex, and I'm in a great place. Of the few stories I heard, they all had in common that the children came second, but more than that, the marriage that they had vowed to have together was barely a bump in the road in the story. It was a speed bump on their way to independent happiness.

The point? This is why I want to cast this as heartbreaking, and evil. Yes it is sinful and evil, but more as a Christian we should look at these situations not in judgment, but through the lens of the mercy and grace of the Father. For too long believers have built up walls to isolate themselves from people who talk this way. Newsflash: people talk this way whether Christians want to admit it or not. That is why Christ commands us to go to THEM, not wait for them to come to us, and when it gets too heavy run away to "Christian Music" and morality.

Paul is telling the Romans to "cast off the darkness," and not be like the rest of Rome while putting on Christ. We are to make no provision for sin in our own lives. This means that we know when and where we are weak, and we go out of our way to run at Christ and away from our weakness.

We do these things because the people around us are asleep. Not only are they asleep, but they are dragging the rest of the party down with them. The culture spins on its head trying to explain and reexamine the world to itself, when we have the real answers! We can break the ridiculous circular reasoning that our friends and neighbors and relatives talk themselves into. The "I'm ok, because I'm better than that guy, I hope..." mentality is not more powerful than the Gospel. The news that Christ died for the world is bigger than anything man can throw at it.

But who will tell them. Nobody on that radio program will read this. I reach virtually nobody when compared to syndicated radio. But that doesn't mean I quit. Christians can't stop preaching the Gospel because they are discouraged. Who are we to be discouraged? It is God that does the work through us, and in those hearing the Gospel. We are not responsible for their reaction, but we are responsible that people around us HAVE a reaction. Live in a way that exemplifies Christ, and insodoing preach repentance and salvation to a world that doesn't understand that it needs it. And pray. It's just that easy, right?

"I Just Worry and I can't Help it!" Can You?

2010-02-19T08:15:00.000-05:00

Time is always the enemy. You spend your whole childhood and college years having an insane amount of time to do whatever you want, and then at some point you have to grow up. The problem isn't that immaturity breeds sloth, although that does play a factor, but that you don't realize how much time you have to work with until it's limited.

The wedding is flying up, and so is this summer in general. There are still about a thousand things to get done and think about, although recently I've begun to be convicted on how much time I do spend "thinking" about them. Really in my mind, it's not that bad to look forward, and dream, and want right? It's not so bad to worry and plan, right? The problem with that thinking is that when I get to that point, I effectively place myself above God's sovereignty in my own mind. Who am I to dictate my own life? How much of that am I responsible for on a regular basis anyway? I wake up and go to work every day by the grace of God, and there's no amount of planning or worry that will get me from the time I lay my head down to when I wake up.

Worry is like a cancer. It grows at an alarming rate, and left unchecked, it can literally kill you. God has a perfect purpose for us, but we too often just think of His plan as a way, and not THE way. So we go about life, saying that "I'm just that kind of person," or "I just can't help it." Well that may be true, you can't help it, any more than a man can't stop lusting, but God is not commanding you to white knuckle your way through life alone. The point of the law is to call attention to our sin and imperfection, and bring glory to God in his perfection. We are to rely on Him in accomplishing the impossible.

Planning for a purpose is one thing, but obsessive planning is just another name for worrying. How many times can I look at a budget before I'm happy? at least one more. I've memorized the mileage between all the places I visit and both my house and Rivertown. I can tell you the mileage on each car, and how much gas it'll take me. I can pack a bag with my eyes closed. I can tell you exactly how much money I'll need over a weekend. And yet from the moment I start packing I start grabbing on tighter to the reigns. If I just know more information, I tell myself, nothing can go wrong, and everything will be perfect. And I always forget something.

The truth is, I'm in sin for taking planning to that extreme. I'm no different than the mom at home worrying when her kids are coming home. I put my own plan above God's, and I rob myself of joy. I superimpose my own confidence in knowing that I've thought of every possible angle over God's plan to be made perfect in me by my imperfection, and remove the possibility of contentment in knowing that God is security. God doesn't forget.

Rather than worry about what I'll forget, I'm choosing to repent and trust in God. Planning is good, but done to the extent that I do it, it's sin. And that's why I rejoice when I find my sinful flesh fails me, and that God knew from the beginning all my failings, and loved and saved me anyway. Christ overcame death, he was there to create the heavens and earth, and it's about time I start giving him the respect he deserves in my own life.

Wisdom, Ruin, and Joy

2010-02-05T08:11:00.000-05:00

Adultery. Lust. Sex. Love. All of our world views in westernized "Christian" America are constantly bombarded with wrong teaching; with everything from poor leadership examples to our idols (thanks Tiger) falling from the pedestals that we create for them. Being male, my sensibilities are especially effected by this false advertising, made more difficult by the fact that it is directed to specifically effect men.

We spend much of our time, Christian or otherwise, concocting lines in the sand on how we should act. Some would contend that as long as we're not physically touching and loving women other than our wives (if married) or girlfriends/fiancees then we are safe from the accusation of being cheaters. Others would go even further and say that as long as no sex took place, the same is true.

From childhood, Americans are brainwashed into thinking what the culture desperately yearns for is right. We are told via sitcoms that cohabitation, random sex, porn, and masturbation are not only ok, but if you live any other way then you're either a prude or weird; that you won't be accepted if you live this way. If you haven't had sex for some as early as freshman year of high school (at least that was the way it was when I went) then you're a loser.

America says that Contentment, Joy, and Lasting Fullfillment comes at the bottom of a bottle or syringe, and the touch of a beautiful woman (regardless of marital status), at the bank or in the workplace, or at the acceptance of your peers. We work our whole lives to build sand castles of our lives. But God created us. He knows how we work. Right?

The most heartbreaking thing is that if you take a step back and look at America through God's clear and perfect lens of his Word, what we're all looking for is plain. It's not wrong to want everlasting joy because that is what God has designed us to want. The problem is that we consciously ignore every right answer and run headlong into sin. We dream of it, plan for it, and yearn for it. Our sin runs through every cell in our being, and God knows this. Why do you think he didn't just toss us out of the garden, with no instruction whatsoever? God tells us how we should act because it is for our best interest, and ultimately brings the greatest Glory to himself.

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;

incline your ear to my understanding

that you may keep discretion

and your lips may guard knowledge.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

and her speech is smoother than oil,

but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,

sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death;

her steps follow the path to Sheol (hell);

she does not ponder the path of life;

her ways wander, and she does not know it.

And now, O sons, listen to me,

and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

Keep your way far from her

and do not go near to the door of her house,

lest you give your honor to others

and your years to the merciless,

lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,

and at the end of your life you groan,

when your flesh and body are consumed,

and you say, "How I hated discipline,

and my heart despised reproof!"

God does not keep from us what we want most. He provides for even those who hate him, even as they follow their path to hell. We are focused on the most immediate satisfaction, but He is concerned with out ultimate satisfaction. The woman represents any temptation that we believe is going to satisfy us. She is a get rich quick scheme, she is that feeling of "if I can just do this thing just a little longer, then I will be set." From our perspective, we do not notice our ways that wander as we follow her.

But God has a greater perspective, not just better, but larger as well. In His perfect wisdom, He knows that we are most fulfilled in the righteousness that He gives through His son. God has a better plan for our lives than the one we've set out, that will lead to infinitely more joy than we could have ever realized. We just have to realize who is really in charge of our lives. It's not us. Let go of the illusion that you are in power in your life. Realize that God is. Repent. Then relax, because He is good.

Men are Oxen

2010-01-15T07:57:00.001-05:00

So I've been reading a book by David Murrow: "Why Men Hate Going To Church" and while I find it interesting, there are definitely better books out there on church growth. The guy spends a lot of time complaining and pointing out the problems, and the suggestions he provides are weak and not very scripturally based.

That said, I do agree with him on some things, once I fish it out amongst the nonsense that is. I was reading Proverbs the other day, and 14:4 reminded me of some things:

"Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox."

The point of Murrow's book is to point out how men are centric in church growth, but it is God's will that dictates the rise and fall of churches. The congregations do play a part, but to point at men or women, or something smaller than dependence on Christ is not getting the whole picture. However, men are oxen.

I enjoy the parallel that this creates in my head. Oxen are big, dumb, stupid, strong, and they make the farmers' job so much easier. Of course there are plenty of men that are the opposite of all of these things, but even those men would at least appreciate the idea of strength and completing a task to help the team. Oxen are low maintenance creatures, and they live in the world of work. Men by and large see life in goals, tasks, mistakes, and successes. We are comfortable looking behind us and seeing where we've come, and enjoying how our hard work and experiences have improved our lives.

Oxen are not clean. Men are not clean. Fact. But God's model of marriage is that way for a reason, because ask a woman if she would rather be a single mom, working and mothering, or if she would like a man's help both financially and emotionally, and what will she say? Sure, the single mom lifestyle may make the house a little nicer looking, but at what cost?

Think about the church without men. I've been places where the pastor preaches the value of men, but from the pews around me all I hear are women degrading their husbands in public, and making jokes at their expense. After that finishes we go to a service we go to a sermon that appeals to the emotions, and probably singing that mentions Jesus "kissing me with the kisses of your mouth." As a man I can say with confidence: yikes. I do not want to be a part of that. Men were built by God different than women, and my point is not to say that the churches have it wrong singing about loving Jesus, or having a sermon filled with emotional content, but it is to say that we should honor God by ministering to men in a way that is helpful and spiritually beneficial.

The last part is the best: "abundant crops come by the strength of the ox." Isn't that exciting? Marriages and Churches alike are missing out on the plan God has set before them to let men be the leaders they are supposed to be. Sure, that takes men stepping up, but sometimes I don't think people realize the hostile environment that they set before most men. How do you lead a woman that degrades you to her friends? If she believes that stuff about you, why does she love you? How do you step up in leadership in church if it does not value your God given abilities of leadership, action, and task oriented world view?

The point of this post isn't to exalt men, but to point out that we are missing a big population on not one gender, but a big population of people that do not know Jesus. Murrow makes a point: men follow other men, not programs. Sports teams, Godly bosses and leadership, and boys and their fathers all represent men following and working with other men. As a man, when you walk into a church, and you're one of the only ones under age 65, does that make you feel like you're in the right place? Or does it make you want to find a place with guys your own age? I believe we can all do more to incorporate men who may not see where they can get involved, and be hands on, in church. Because all churches are different, it doesn't look the same everywhere, but the common denominator is that the more people you get involved, the more people will come to the knowledge of Christ.

Think of all the men who don't go to church. What if they started going, and Christ changed their lives? How would their work places change? Would church be though of differently by the world, not as something that moms and grandparents go to, but that a family goes to to meet with the Jesus that changes lives. What can we DO to change our churches to make it more inviting, not to "the culture" whoever that is, but to your macho coworkers that go to church twice a year and are living in sin? The Gospel will change hearts, one way or another, but think about what the church is doing to impede more people from hearing it. Can the lost come as they are to your church, or do they have to dress accordingly? Are lost people allowed to act like they don't know Jesus, or do you expect them to act like a Christian so that you are comfortable in "your" church?

Would you keep a clean manger to keep your environment nice? Or would you change in order to take advantage of how Christ can change the lost in your city? Letting the unchurched into church may not be nice and easy, but isn't that the problem anyway? We can't make the church a nice environment and still preach the Gospel that offends. Pray about what you can do to reach out to those around you in the name of Jesus, and how we can change as a church to switch from making it nice for us to making it a place where the lost can come and meet Jesus and hear the Truth.

Who cares about Football?

2010-01-07T08:24:00.000-05:00

I know this is a big flashing neon sign that shows I'm not from the south, but I just don't care about football. The BCS Championship game is today, and not only did I have to google what the term BCS meant, but I could care less about who is playing it. I have a hard time understanding why people get so into stats and facts about teams that they have never been on, and schools with which they have never been affiliated. College football is way more important to most people in the south that most NFL teams are, and today it's the most obvious.

My goal is not to make fun of people who like college football, because I do see the value in relaxing and watching a game. As I scrolled through the loads of comments on Facebook on the upcoming game tonight, I just think it's crazy that all these people that have never been to the University of Alabama are all of a sudden huge fans because of "SEC Loyalty." It's crazy that a game can spur a 30 min conversation on speculating a coaches motives during practice, and his thoughts about the team, and just about everything other than a win or a loss. I'll never be at that point where I care so much about sports that I know who's been red shirted, who got a DUI and can't play (and what position he played, and why that's good for my team), and all the rest of the useless information that comes along with it.

I used to think I had to step it up, learn more about sports to fit in. The truth is: who cares? Every year the same teams play each other and they have the same rivalries. But win or lose, what does it really change? If Alabama wins, they'll have 13 national championships. And? They'll go right back to even next season. Sure they'll be "ranked" higher. It doesn't matter how high your ranked if you can't play the game.

It's never been more clear to me the religion of Football than has been shown this year. Worshiping the Idol of your local (or not so local) college team can be a problem, and for most people it is. Studying the scriptures of statistics, memorizing the truth of the ESPN Sports Center so that you can evangelize at work the next day, and going to worship 5 months out of the year for that special community relationship with "your" team.

Why can we spend 2 or 3 hours sitting in a stadium waiting for a game to begin, but we bull-rush the exit at church on sunday after only sitting barely over an hour. Why do we show such emotion for the team we love, but for the One who saved our souls we just sit and wait for it to be over, showing Him nothing.

The truth is that just like any idol, football can be a problem. It's not wrong to like football, any more than its wrong to have money, sex, stuff, drink alcohol, or smoke. The problem exists when we make those things paramount in our lives. Football is an easy example, but when the season is over, what are we left with? Myself included, we do everything we can to find things to fit what is missing in our lives. We hunger for God, and we keep trying to eat more and more of all this different stuff, stuffing ourselves and making ourselves sick, when if we just reached for what would make the hunger cease, we would know satisfaction. You can love God and love football, but do you? Or do you love football, and tolerate God as long as his worship service doesn't interfere with your real church: SEC football?

"You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing.

The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works

The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.

The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD, and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever."

-Psalm 145:16-21

Selling Cars and the Christmas Season

2009-12-19T11:18:00.000-05:00

This year is the first that I get to experience a full time job during the holidays and I really don't want to complain as much as give people props for how tough this is. I appreciate that God has provided for me a job, but I'm definitely not raking in the cash, and I thank him for that as well. See, the great thing about now making much is that you get to evaluate what is important in your life, and choose to support those things instead of frivolous junk that you might otherwise spend your time and money on in the event that you had an excess of either. Christmas does put a strain on the budget, but it also makes you analyse why you even do the things you do.

Why am I buying presents for people? Why do I feel like I have to spend a certain amount or I'm just not caring? More importantly, what does it say about my world view if the only way people know I care is if I spend a ton of cash on them? I think all of these are questions that we should ask ourselves more often.

By definition, car sales is "retail", but to say that I'm working in retail is like saying I can pilot a cruise ship because I can operate a troll motor on a fishing boat. Car sales are just so different, and I wish I could be a part of the insane money changing hands like there are at Walmart, Best Buy, and all the rest. I was watching the news last night and it said the sales for today were to amount in the billions of dollars, being that it's the last Saturday before Christmas. Something else that makes retail special, and the same goes for if you work at a restaurant, is that you are here to serve people. While that sounds cute, what that means is that all those days everybody else gets off, you're working so that you can sell those people stuff. It is a different lifestyle, and I think it puts added pressure on your spiritual walk when you can't get as much time off as your friends. Getting 1 day off in December isn't exactly my idea of a vacation, but I thank God for the opportunity to see things from the point of view of a car salesman. Just like people think that everybody should be a server at some time in their life, I think you should have to sell cars for a 6 months to a year at some point.

Imagine a job where you go to work, and you know that everybody that you talk to that day is going to lie to you. You want to tell them about the product your selling, and they ignore you and talk about what they wanna talk about: price. You try to get them to try out the product, i.e. test drive it, and they will have nothing of it. You are always the liar in their eyes, you are always trying to take from them, and you are the greasy smile that reaches into their pockets and steals their hard earned money. You're looked at as a swindler, a crook, and a vulture. It's ok to get mad, yell, and cuss at the car salesman, they're just a bunch of freeloaders anyway.

And here are the excuses: If I tell them the truth they'll take from me. You aren't nice when you negotiate. You have to be hard or they'll take advantage of you. It's ok to lie to them just to test drive a car even when I don't plan on buying it, because I just want to have some fun that day.

Why doesn't that work in other stores? You don't walk into Best Buy, and take a TV off the wall, walk out, plug it in at your house, watch it for an hour, and bring it back because you don't like it. You don't go to buy clothes at a department store, and get mad and yell at the saleslady because she has the audacity to charge you $50 for a shirt. And when you go to Home Depot, and the guy in the apron is telling you why these light fixtures are the best, and they're going to work for you, you don't cut him off and tell him you're not buying it if you have to pay the price on the box.

We don't do that, because it's not expected of us. This is where we get to the core of who we are. When we walk onto a car lot, we have full license to just do whatever we want, Christian or otherwise, to get the deal we want. I would challenge you to find that in Scripture.

Here is the point I'm trying to make. Working around these salesmen, they're here trying to feed their families, and earn a living just like everybody else with a "real" job is doing the same. Thinking of these guys as "car salesmen" it's easy to be evil to them, but what if you think of them like you think of your family. What if this was your father you were buying the car from? Would you belittle him and treat him like trash? Of course not.

As followers of Christ, I think the easiest witness you can have is to have a Christian attitude even on the car lot. It's a lot harder than you think, because of how the world and culture condition you to hate care salesmen. Salesmen work on commission. That means that no matter where they work, they get commission and helps them put food on the table and gas in the tank. Whether they work at Sears, HH Gregg, Macy's, or at a dealership somewhere, they expect to get paid for their services. Servers at a restaurant should be tipped well by a Christian, because it shows love and the spirit of giving, like Christ's free gift of salvation to the world. I'm not saying you have to pay whatever the salesmen tells you to pay, but you should act like you love Jesus while you negotiate, and you should think about how you're ok with tipping everbody else in your life, and letting businesses make money on you in every other facet, but with the dealership it's suddenly an outrage. Yes, they will make a profit, but in reality the salesmen really doesn't make that much, especially not on each individual. So when you get close to the price you want, what difference does it make to knock off that extra 300 bucks? Would Christ deprive this man of a paycheck to pay for food and living for his family just not to pay an extra 3 dollars a month? If you're mad about paying a little too much, think about how the bank makes money off of you, paying you next to no interest. You don't get mad at them and take your money out to put it in a credit union usually. You just let them pay you less interest, or keep that extra bit of your money, because it's easy. Selling cars is not easy, and just getting through the process is enough to get paid for. Going through the process of greeting the customer, calming them down, finding a vehicle they can afford, finding the important thing they're interested in, getting gas in the vehicle, taking it to clean up, filling out the paperwork, calling all the necessary people for payoff, insurance, and loan applications, making the customer comfortable with the cost, explaining the fees and how you have no control over charging them, delivering the vehicle, calling the customer before the process to get them in, and after to follow up and make sure everything is great. All that stuff sounds like work doesn't it? You expect a paycheck at your job, so stop robbing men and women working at dealerships because you're so selfish that you won't show the love of Christ with them.

So be careful of how overarching your selfishness is this Christmas season. How many excuses to do you make so that you can do the things you want? Worded differently: how do you try to excuse your sin so that you don't feel guilty for wronging others? The salespeople and the people working at the places you shop have souls. Don't forget that Christ died for the world, not for you and your financial and emotional security.

(disclaimer: You should negotiate at the car lot. You should want to get a deal. You should never forget who has provided the money to pay for the vehicle you're looking at. Honor God with your actions and share the love of God with the salespeople. It does cost more. How much did Christ's sacrifice cost?)

Reality is Christ

2009-12-10T09:02:00.000-05:00

So lately there has been quite a lot of talk about football. It's interesting to me, because on the one hand I have people in my life who just absolutely borderline hate people who talk too much about football and would condemn them, and then on the other hand I know quite a few people who just live for the game, and that's all they talk about and by simple observation, one would think that's all they care about. The goal of this post isn't to continue to bash people for liking a game, and it isn't to hate on people who (probably correctly) think that the over importance placed on football is detrimental. What I'd like to point out is something I was reminded last night at church: if your heart is right, then your actions will follow.

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things are created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." - Col 1:15-16

What would that look like in the believer's heart? If Christ were the center would be dominate our conversations with football? (or any of the idols we prop up to distract us from worshiping the one true God) The difficultly lies not in recognizing that Christ is the center, but making him the center mentally. It's easy to say, but working out his relevance in our own lives is the tough part. The simple version of this is that Christ should be exemplified in everything, and the easiest way to accomplish that is to make him first in our hearts. If His glory is what I am concerned about, then the laundry list of things I should or shouldn't be doing will take care of itself. All this to say that the game of football is good, and we ruin it when we make it more important than God. You can like the game, just love God more.

Also a word of warning would be this: don't be so self righteous in your cause to purge the world of football loving Christians that you miss your own sin. Don't get caught up in pointing out other's sin, and miss your own. While the love of football is a problem, consider how your rebuke puts Christ in the center. If you're pointing the believer to Him in love, then keep on, but if your correcting their actions just to be on the right side of the legalistic line, then you should be ashamed of yourself, and repent.

Diet of Sin

2009-11-03T08:39:00.000-05:00

The longer I'm on a diet, the more I see parallels between constantly deviating from that plan, and deviating from God's law. I know this is a really terrible analogy, but just hear me out (or read me out, I guess). I'll just give you what I went through, since I'm sure it's similar to others' situations.

I started out on the diet, and I was excited. I saw pictures of where some of the people in the group had come from, and I wanted that. So I joined, and started eating like they did, and following the plan. The first few weeks the diet was iron clad. Nobody could get me to eat anything that I didn't know the points value to first. I was loosing so much initially that they were telling me at Weight Watchers that I needed to eat more, or exercise less, because it wasn't healthy to lose 3 to 5 pounds a week. I didn't care, I knew I was following the rules, and it was working for me. As time progressed, however, I started to yearn for "real people food." A man can only eat fruit and frozen products so much before he wants some steak. So gradually I started eating more, and worse things for me. I tried to fit it in to my daily allowance, but generally it just went over, and after a while that didn't really bother me either. In the beginning, I was working out like a champ, getting up at 5:30 every morning to bang out some PT, and then go to work at 9. Soon it got to the point where I quit working out for one reason or another (or at least that's what I told myself.) Things started coming up where I couldn't go and weigh in to see if I was losing or not. Finally, I was still paying for the program, but that was the only representation that I was still in. My actions and thoughts were so far away from dieting, it was like I never even started.

I'm sure you've seen some parallels already of life before God and dieting. Again, for me this is how it went. In the beginning, I was so stout in my "extensive" knowledge of God's law that I was out to fix everybody's problems. I knew what to do and not do, and I knew not to even get near things that would get me involved with things on the naughty list. As time went I forgot the significance of Christ's sacrifice, and I started to embrace the things that I used to ignore back when I was "on fire." My fervor kept tapering off even further as I started to want what I thought everybody else could have and enjoy except for me because I loved Jesus. This drew me further away from the truth that I knew deep down. Finally it got to the point that the only thing that distinguished me as a Christian at all was where I went on sunday morning, and my vocabulary.

In both cases, I snapped back. With the diet, I just felt so awful after constantly breaking the rules that I knew that if I continued that I was only going to hurt myself and my future. Unfortunately, in regards to my sin, it takes me much longer to come to the same conclusion. I constantly break God's law, and spit in the face of Christ's sacrifice, and really God is trying to show me that in pursuit of what I think is good for me, I am again just hurting myself, my future, and even those around me.

God is constantly trying to point out how His ways are going to lead to joy, and mine are not. Galatians 5:16-17 says this:

"Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do."

As an American, it goes against the grain to think that I'm not allowed to do what I want. God's mercy enables us to indeed do whatever we want, but his grace enables us to see that we aren't ever going to be satisfied unless we trust in what he is trying to tell us. Thank God that I'm not left to what I want to do. My life would be a facade of false righteousness if not for Christ setting me free from the bonds of my sin.

"And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." Gal 5:24-25

Mimes & Problematic Realizations

2009-10-30T09:31:00.000-04:00

Ever heard, "It'll catch up to him one day," or "we'll see how long that lasts"? It's something that I've thought about before, but lately God keeps reminding me of my problematic thought process. So here it is: what if it doesn't?

Many times I find myself thinking about how "everybody else does it" and how I honestly wish I could do it that way sometimes. My sin takes over my thoughts, and throws stuff out there like: Why do I have to care about God's law? The bigger question my sin will bring up is why I even care what the Bible says anyway, because I look around and everybody else is doing just fine. As a Christian looking at people who aren't and seeing they are doing fine, I would like to assume that they're hurting deep down, and that somehow it'll all come screaming up at them one day, and they're going to fall down before God, or realize that they've been wrong. Then all will be right. But if there's one thing I've learned in my brief time on earth, is that nothing is right or fair.

I think some of this thinking comes from Biblical truth. In my head, I know that everybody needs Jesus. All people are sinners in need of a savior, but how that works out is the question. What if there are some people in my life, that while I think that Jesus would do them well, they just disagree? Getting back to the question: what if it doesn't catch up with them? What if they live their whole life, and while they might feel guilty a time or two, there's nothing tugging at their heart to repent and come to Jesus.

From my Christian "boundaries" I see people that get to do all the things I wish I could do, and I rationalize that some day they're going to be sorry. It really works out to be a power trip on my part. I'm better than them, because I have Jesus, and they'll be sorry sooner or later. Real life works itself out differently than I think it should from my ivory tower. Real people don't care about God or Jesus because it gives them unnecessary rules. Real people don't need Him because they've got it handled, and they always have so why give up control? Real people aren't "going to be sorry one day" because there's nothing there telling them that they should be.

This brings me to my point. I can tell people about Jesus, I can "live the life in front of them" like a good Baptist, and I can even try to live a life contrary to conventional church in an effort to pique their interest. But I can't make them need Jesus. God's mercy and grace extends to all that will come to Jesus, but the truth that I have a hard time swallowing is that most people just won't. Most people will live their lives, and die without ever having known Jesus. They won't wonder what could have been because they've lived a "full life." There's nothing that I can do to make people care.

It's also not right to think of me as bound, and as people needing Jesus as free. Just to be clear, I know the right thing: To live is Christ, and to die is gain. I am glad that God brought me out from under my shroud of ignorance of my sin. I know that I was wrong, and I know that God is the only one who can cleanse me and save me from my self appointed fate in hell. What he does for me eternally, he does for me on earth as well. He frees me from the bondage of sin in the here and now, and that makes my life different than those around me. The lie that my sinful heart tells me is that if I would just turn back and embrace my sin, then I would be happier than trying to follow all these rules that God has set.

The bottom line to all of this is twofold. First, looking at other people's sin and assuming anything is never a good idea. It shows that you as a follower of Christ aren't abiding in Him and working to know him better and be satisfied in Him. Second, once you've realized that the problem is you and not God, you understand that people aren't going to come to Christ on their own. That's why Jesus tells us to tell them, love them, and live it out for them.

I imagine most Christians consider evangelism as a street mime. We're afraid to speak, so we mime what we mean, in hopes that others get it. Don't be a mime. Pray that God gives you the words to match the works.

Incompentence

2009-10-10T07:36:00.000-04:00

The other day I was busy washing the cars in the front yard, and one of the neighbors came over to say he was deploying again. He got to telling us that this would be his 6th time going to Iraq or Afghanistan, and that just blew us away. So in the course of talking and asking questions about his next steps, his spiritual condition came up. There were three of us in the front yard, and I didn't want to seem like we were teaming up on him, so I did a lot of listening.

Unfortunately there is a popular notion that God is only this loving, marshmallowy, pushover-god that doesn't like it when you sin, but there's really nothing he does to you or about it. He just sits back at a distance and sees what you're doing, and shakes his head. The worst part of this theology is that you have to change your behavior and fix yourself to come to believe in God. All this was summed up into the lump of "being religious," whatever that means. On a side note, religious is one of those phrases I hate because of how many uses we've given it. We say that people watch football religiously, or get up at a certain time in the morning religiously. People then turn around and say, "Well, I'm not religious, that's fine for you, but I just can't get into that." Relativism aside, everybody is religious in some degree (although a better definition would probably be habitual).

So as we talked to the soldier, or rather listened to things that have gone on overseas, he painted this picture of himself as a horrible guy, that is in the business of killing. His concern and really his barrier that he's built up between himself and God is that he doesn't believe that God condones killing. How can God, who said "Thou shall not murder" stand to love a man that is paid to kill others. He's also the lead in the convoy, and takes pride in how perceptive he is, and that it's because of him that everybody in the convoy is safe. Trust in God had never crossed his mind, because he's got it handled.

At one point, as I listened to those on the porch go round in circles, I just threw it out there that chaplains and the Army Chaplain Corps would be the best resource he'd have. And then he told me how every chaplain he'd ever encountered was a pansy, and therefore not a soldier. He said he was prepping a convoy to leave, and a chaplain got into his vehicle, and as they pulled out, the chaplain asked, "Wait, are you the lead?" When affirmation followed, he immediately ordered the NCO to stop the vehicle, he didn't realize he was in the front, and he shouldn't be up there.

The bottom line is this: you can't expect to talk to soldiers about God if you treat them like a barrier between you and danger. A leader can't use his soldiers as a shield from the enemy just because he's scared. That chaplain did a great job at making sure this soldier held him in low regard, because he was too good to be close to danger.

Now I'm not Rambo or anything, I don't like the idea of getting shot at any more than the next guy. I also believe in the job that chaplains are there to do, and after talking to this guy, it makes me angry that there are some out there that are more focused on looking out for #1 than sharing the Gospel with men and women in the army.

Just to clarify: God does not condone murder. Serving in the military is not the business of murder, no matter how much the hippies in the 60s (or today for that matter) want you to believe it. While killing the enemy is part of the job, there is a very real difference between murdering a man, and killing an enemy soldier, that given the opportunity would gladly kill you, and might even shoot your family just for being American. That you would have to ask for forgiveness for murder every time you do your job as a soldier is not the spirit of the Law God has given us.

Firsts and Self

2009-10-02T07:40:00.003-04:00

Apparently there's a lot to growing up, as I'm coming to find out. Lately there have been a lot of firsts for me; first auto loan, first car negotiation, first time to own 2 cars. All these to say that stepping away from dependence on family and onto your own may be common, but nobody really tells you how. I think it would be tough for anyone to try anyway.

There have been more than a few situations where I've seen God point out my faults in a not so subtle way. Lately the gift that keeps on giving is selfishness. With the wedding coming up, its easy to be excited about all that comes with that: new lifestyle, new living arrangements, moving away from Columbus, and of course sex. A few months ago I felt like I had all the time in the world, that it would be just centuries before I would get married. Now its already October, and it feels like I just skipped 3 months of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad its coming so quickly, but at the same time I feel like the stage lights are being faded up brighter and brighter on my faults the closer the day comes when I have to share my life, and all of myself with another human being. The more I find out about biblical manhood, the attainability becomes less and less. The good news is, its not up to me to fix myself.

Sacrifice is the name of the game with biblical manhood. 1 Peter 3:7 says

"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. "

Growing up I learned to live with (and under) my parents rules. In college I learned to live and deal with others my age, and to develop my understanding of how God wants me to live. Up till now, it's been about what I can derive from things around me to make me the most happy. What Peter is getting at above is that for me to serve God best, I have to quit thinking about my happiness, and start thinking of my willingness.

So all the times I want to complain about women just being overly sensitive, and their emotions getting in the way just doesn't honor God. The truth is that when I'm sick, I certainly won't be complaining about how sensitive or caring my wife is. The last statement is what drives it home. If men don't treat their wives with respect and live with them understanding their feelings and differences, even if that means we might have to actually listen and try some of the time, the God won't honor our prayers. He won't listen to you if you're actively disobeying him, and pointing the finger at your wife to change.

Bottom line? God demands of men to serve the women that He's provided for them. And he gives us the tools to do it. All it takes is humility, and constantly reminding yourself who is in charge.

Brad Paisley's song "The Pants" is a good ending to this thought. One of his lyrics "It's not who wears the pants, it's who wears the skirt," is partially correct. I would expound on it a little more: You may wear the pants, but they're given to you by God to protect, serve, and love your wife, who wears the skirt, and you should serve her in a way that honors both God and your wife, and that means that you might not get your way all the time, but since its not about you, who cares?

Friends and Accountability

2009-09-20T09:13:00.000-04:00

This weekend has been great. Ever since I've reclaimed my weekend from the car lot I've been looking forward to coming back down to see friends back in Mobile. There's never enough time to see everybody, and for that reason I guess I wish that I could stay for weeks. It's been too long since I had a chance to get with another guy and talk about what's going on in my life. I know accountability is a popular topic in church, but it doesn't come about much. In my experience church just isn't full of people that are willing to hear your problems. If you have things going on, you gotta fix them before you show up to worship, instead of coming to the community of sinners to worship a perfect God who can and has completed you in Christ.

Lately it's been tough to not equate my sin as what Matt Chandler has been referring to as a "victimless crime." Too often I find myself thinking about the consequences to me for my sin. The problem is that it's never about anyone else. The common denominator is that God hates sin, and even when He saves you, he hates your sin, therefore you have to stop sinning to really follow him. The more I live as a Christian and in the church the more I realize how ridiculous that is. You can't fix who you are to be who you're not. You can't stop sinning for the sake of not sinning. The pursuit of righteousness is the only goal worth striving for, and in the end Christ is the only reason I should even care in the first place. If I just wanted to be "better," whatever that means to me, then I don't need church or God. But if I want to be sanctified, then I need Him.

Leaving again...

2008-07-26T17:48:00.003-04:00

After a full day, a substantial chunk of it spent packing, all that's left is for me to get to bed. I'm leaving Germany again. Its funny that I get like this, maybe its because way back in my family I'm from here, but I always miss it. I miss my family, and the people I meet over here I sometimes wish I could keep in contact with more, but its like every time I come over I spend like a week falling in love with the place all over again, and then right when I start to enjoy just chilling here, its time to go back to the butt-crack of heat: Mobile, Alabama. Weather is great over here too.

Anyway, I did a lot this time around. Went to Italy again with Club Beyond, hit a cruise, served again in Hungary. All in like a month and a half. It probably doesn't sound like a lot, but I will be glad to get back to familiarity and relax for a few weeks. Even at school its easier to find rest than it is doing this kind of stuff. Oh but how I love that "stuff." I'm not sure if God put a longing to share the Gospel of Christ with the world, but I know He did in me. Even when I'm way outside of my comfort zone, I just feel right. A great example would be on the Hungary trip. It was on the last day, and I'm not a great relationship maker, but on these trips I really try to be that guy who gets past my own issues, and reach out to whomever I can. The last day we were just hanging out, we had finished everything, and we had like 20 mins left. I brought my passport and driver's license around, just to show them what a US one looked like, and it kinda turned into a American show and tell. And then one of the girls asked how I was saved. There! I thought I would go a whole summer without sharing overtly Christ with someone. So I took that opportunity to share with the group how God changed my life.

Every now and then I get in situations where I really wonder how many people are able to do the things that God allows me to do. Its really incredible, how many countries I visit in the course of a year, and a good portion of that travel is to serve Him in some way. Being a military brat sucks in a lot of ways, but there are also so many other ways that it rocks so much harder than being a normal kid who never leaves the state.

The other thing I spent doing this summer has been praying for direction. I'm not really the most forward thinking guy, but its getting time for me to decide what I'm going to do with my life, and my degree, and I think more than paying bills, I'm worried about following God's plan for my life. So the past 3 months or so I've been praying about that (and will continue to do so).

One of the guys from the Miskolsc (not sure if i spelled that right) in Hungary asked why God didn't show his people signs. Actually I think he was waiting to believe in God until God showed him that He exists. I was talking to a friend about how God "talks" to me. Through emotions, and through situations. The second is one that really requires the most discernment on my part, but its also the one that God uses the most for me. Really the most challenging thing about asking for direction is asking where I'm going and being patient, and more than that, wanting to know how what I've done in the past makes sense for where I'm going.

Less than five hours till I have to get up. Like every time I fly internationally. I just can't wait till Sunday when I'm asleep in my bed. But I'm going to miss Europe SO much.

Costa Cruise

2008-07-23T17:29:00.005-04:00

Venice - To and From and To again

So we sort of spent two days in Venice since we came down. We went into Venice on Saturday just to go and check things out. One of our crew hadn’t been before, so we kinda just took it easy. We all hadn’t been to Murano before, and that was kinda fun just to say that we went. We had to come back to Vicenza to sleep again at the base, and then we were off to board the forever long process to get on the Costa Serena.

Bari - Costa summer cruise

Not much of anything today, just stayed on the boat. We only stopped into port for like 3 hours, so we didn’t really have time. They were advertising a trip into town on a bus or a bike, but it’s south Italy, and HOT. So I slept in, worked out on the really cool treadmill, and ate a LOT. The only thing of note today was a completely awful show at night. This guy had a terrible track, and it was just an ok voice. Of course to the Europeans it was like audible love, but he was rough. Sometimes I have to agree with a friend of mine, it sucks being in the musical know, I wish I could turn it off and just enjoy suck. Sadly I can’t.

Katakolon - Greece (Olympia)

Today was short for the excursion, we were only gone like 3 hours. The tour guide was a little sketch. He kinda made me think he was related to someone in the company. He was the crazy grandpa of the family that told stories that you really didn’t feel comfortable believing at face value. He also made up for the amount of knowledge he put out there by over utilizing the art of the dramatic pause. And .... It was..... too..... much.

Izmir - Turkey (Ephesus)

Izmir was the port city that we went through to get to Ephesus. We had a great tour guide, and I thought it was pretty cool how even though she was Muslim, she knew a lot about Christian history. It was also kinda bizarre to me to hear so much history about Christianity when looking at Turkey its 99% Muslim. (a stat given by the tour guide) I’ve seen a lot of ruins in Pompeii, Naples, Rome, and some in Germany and other places, but I think Ephesus was one of the best. They had done some reconstruction of the city, but walking around you really could picture it like it used to be. There were Christian monuments to God, and parts of pagan shrines in one city. There was also a Theatre there that could hold something like 20,000 people at once. It was cool. Also about turkey, everything is cheap, and after paying 3 euro (over 4 bucks) for a soda on the ship, paying 80 euro cents was pretty freaking awesome.

Istanbul - Turkey

My first glimpse of Istanbul was this huge city with the occasional Mosque scattered on the hillside. We saw the “Blue Mosque,” which is actually not named that, but after some sultan. From there we went to “Hagia Sofia” which was one of the more bizarre churches I’ve been in. It was originally built as a Christian church, but around the time of the 3rd crusade? It was conquered by the Ottomans and changed into an Islamic mosque. They covered a lot of the murals the Christians had painted on the walls, but now that the whole thing is a museum, they left the Islamic stuff up on the walls and they’re working on recovering and restoring the murals too. It was just too weird to me to see Christian and Muslim stuff in the same building. From there we went to the Grand Bazaar, which was huge. My mom said she could have stayed for hours in there, but I got my touristy stuff, my flag and Eye, and I was good. Istanbul is probably going to be the highlight of the cruise, but I think over all the Hagia Sofia has been the coolest place I’ve been.

Dubrovnik - Croatia

Walled city, tourist trap. Not that great. It was pretty, but for such a small town there were like 4 different cruise ships in the area, and I feel like the more of those that are around the amount I get ripped off goes up exponentially.

It was a good cruise, good time spent with the fam as well.

Beach non-Break

2008-06-19T13:25:00.002-04:00

Club Beyond. Basically its the same thing as Young Life in the States, I'm not really sure why they have a different name, and Club is for military kids. I'm over in Germany, and I've decided to help out again with thier annual "Beach Break" trip. Club Beyond groups from all over Europe end up in Italy for a 6 day week of fun. And for the most part it is fun. But for the leaders is probably one of the hardest weeks of discipleship and service that they do.

I can't speak for them, but I can say that for me personally it is draining. From the very beginning, its tough. You start out the trip, and for the majority of the kids, who come from Germany, there is a 10+ hour bus trip. Ours going down was about 12 hours. Then you go down, and you get up different times every day, or you could. Some days you have to be up as early to meet as a group at 6:30, it varys but the latest day was something like 8:30. But everyday you go non stop from 6:00 when you wake up until midnight, always aware of where kids are, making sure they're not on a path of destruction of either themselves or others.

That in itself isn't that big a deal, if that were all. Chaperones isn't a great title for what you are on a trip like this. You are these kids leader, and yeah there is some rule enforcing involved, but you're also trying to mentor them, always pointing them to Christ as examples of behavior. Many of the high schoolers that go on the trip don't go to church, and some even are openly against Christianity all together. It is exhausting, and I'm glad I was able to do it again, but I'm not glad that this time is probably going to be my last. I hope that the relationships are lasting as well, because you get to meet all the leaders and staffers all around Europe.

Anyway, God did some great stuff while we were down there. He really showed up among the kids, but I forget how much we as leaders need that stuff too. Near the end we were all a little short, snapping at each other and the students. Though I feel so spiritually drained, I'm glad that I was poured out in the hopes that some students would know Christ or eventually come to know Him.

I Miss Technology

2008-06-12T05:29:00.002-04:00

I've been in Germany for 3 days now, not even 3 complete days, and I already miss technology. Its not like I'm surprised really, I come here twice a year, and I stay a while. I miss my cell phone, regardless if its an iPhone or not, I just miss having a cell phone to doodle with. I had to take my Mac into the shop the other day, so I don't even have that... I'm having to rock my dad's laptop with Vista, which is a whole other non related headache.

I've noticed since that stuff has gone, its not necessarily a bad thing. Its not like I think that I need them to survive, I'm (we all are) perfectly capable to survive without cell phones. I just don't see why we should have to. Maybe I just sound naive, or snobbish or whatever, but if I go out, I'd like to know that I have a way of getting in touch with my family or whoever. But the numbers over here are about a thousand numbers long, and its tough to remember them, so I just don't. I just wait to get home.

What I notice more than everything is how my hands itch to do something when I'm at home. I don't have my apple tv to watch movies, I don't have my ps3 to keep me entertained, and somehow, I'm ok! Its funny, I have to relearn how to entertain myself. This actually sounds pathetic, but I know that I have too many toys. They usually get in the way, and on the other hand, I'm actually kinda enjoying not having all those things in the way. I can talk to my family, undestracted, and I'm not melting my brain away staring at a tv screen. I never noticed till I can't use it how I just wanna play with my phone. I just wanna look stuff up on the internet, the other day, I didn't know what a word meant when we were out, and I coulda used my iPhone to translate. But whatever, I guess I'll have to do it the old fashoned way.

I guess I have mixed feelings about it all. I miss being able to use my cell phone, but I don't miss all the extra time the other stuff takes of my life because I don't have the willpower to put the remote down...

Thoughts on a Plane

2008-06-10T11:05:00.000-04:00

As I write this, the flight attendants are shooing us to find our stuff, collect it all into one place, and get ready to deplane the aircraft. Oh yeah, I’m that guy that brought his laptop on the plane, and is actually using it. This trip has been great, I got to ride first class. But you know, I gotta say that it wasn’t as nice as I was expecting (or remember) because the last time I rode was I think my freshman year at UM. I was a few pounds short of what I am now, but I did remember the seats being a little wider. Maybe I just grew up (and out) a little. Delta 1st class is nothing to shake a stick at tho, especially if you paid for it. Even if you didn’t, like I didn’t, I would still recommend it. Although, if you can, free is always the way to travel to Europe.

The fun began at the gate in ATL when they offer you champagne or orange juice (I got the champagne just to say I did). Really the first thing you notice right off is that the flight attendants are both nicer and do more for you in “Business” class. Then once you get up in the air, they pass around some hot towels, which is money for a big guy in the summer time travel environment, cause I started sweating when I left my house this morning. It’s almost over now, but I think this is the first time in a while that I have been on a plane for over 8 hours and wouldn’t object to flying a little longer...

Well, gotta go, we’re landing!

(I actually wrote this on the plane, but there’s obviously no internet up there, hence the later post date)

Anti-Personal America

2008-06-04T04:12:00.003-04:00

I had to go to the bank today, and I saw an ATM outside. That's not a big deal, but it got me thinking about how funny some banks are around town. Like I can think of more than a few that have only drive up ATMs. More and more places today are facilitating folks to stay in their cars as they go about thier day. We can get a meal, do business at the bank, even do our laundry by simply leaning out our car window. Its no wonder I weigh 300 lbs... but I digress.

I got to thinking about how on a normal day I go from my little air conditioned house, to an air conditioned car, and then if I go anywhere where I actually have to get out of the car, its TOPS a 40 yard walk to the door of my air conditioned destination. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of air conditioning, but my point with that is that we are so cut off with the world around us. We spend most of the day dodging the weather. Our safely regulated climate around us when we're at home or school/work keeps us constantly detached. If you've never left the states, you may be wondering what the big deal is, but I would submit to you that you NEED to leave the States. Bad. You gotta get out of here. You can come back, but you gotta realize that we aren't THE way, just one way. (and I'm speaking totally about culture).

I think its crazy that I can leave my house and be alone the whole time I'm out, not talk to anyone, and come back to the house just to hang out with someone. Of course it's different when school is in. Talking about this reminds me of the movie Crash, that's pretty much what the whole movie was about.

YHWY is His name, don't wear it out...

2008-06-03T04:45:00.002-04:00

So tonight is a two-fer, I was just thinking about this while I'm still up (for some reason)

So I go to a Christian school, and I go to church, and a few other places where prayer is commonly put out there, and it bothers me a little that we tend to remind God of his name. This actually isn't an original thought, a professor of mine was the first to point this out to me...

But why when people pray, its usually the uber spiritual I'm trying way to hard to fit the mold of what I think a church kid should be, why when they pray to they use God's name, or variations of it more than once. Better yet, why do you use it more than once in a paragraph? It's a terribly distracting habit, maybe not for you, and I don't think it matters one way or another when it comes to prayer in and of itself, but when you're in front of people and your prayer goes something like this, I know that I just can't focus:

Father God, we come before you today God, with humility God. Lord we lift you up, Father, we love you Lord God, and we just ask you tonight God, to come in this place Jesus, and to convict us of our sins Lord God, that Father God if there is one in this place Lord that doesn't know you Father God that he will come to know you God. (etc. I think you get the point)

That's ridiculous. What if we talked to people like that? And if we don't talk to people like that, why do we talk to God that way? I'm not talking about the difference between reverence for God and and everyday conversation. But what if I called up a friend and said:

"Hey Bill, you know Bill when you'll be free later, brother Bill? I was wondering Billy if you were gonna go Bill downtown now or later, brother. Bill, let me know, Bill, and Bill give me a call back if you Bill want to."

Now that second one's just stupid. But maybe you'll think about it next time you pray. Why do we talk to God like he's ADD. He knows his name, he's not gonna forget it between the beginning and end of your sentence, there's no reason to keep reminding him.

Another thing is that if you think about prayer like this it will change the way you do it. You won't use God's name as a comma anymore, and you might actually think about what you're saying and quit using all those flashy cliche's that churches and worship leaders love so much. I'll save church cliche's for another time tho.

Before the Throne of God Above

2008-06-03T04:29:00.002-04:00

Before the Throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great high Priest who's name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me

My name is graven on His hand
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart

When satan tempts me to despair
and tells me of the guilt within
upward I look and see Him there
Who made and end of all my sin

Because a sinless Savior died
my sinful soul is counted free
For God the just is satisfied
to look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of Glory and of grace

One in Himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God

Tired of Sleep

2008-06-01T18:07:00.006-04:00

You know, I think life would be easier if we just didn't need sleep. I mean, think about it. No more jet lag, no more "late nights..." I don't know, I guess I'm just tired of being tired in the middle of the day.

You ever wonder why we get up when we do? What makes it not ok to sleep till 5 pm? Ok so stuff is starting to close by then, but that's only because I live in Mobile, where culture comes to die. But I asked my room mate a few weeks ago, what if I just started living my life regardless of what time it was. Really tho, what dictates meal times except when we are hungry? So why can't I have breakfast at 3 pm? My ideal day would probably have to be getting up around 2 pm, getting a cup of coffee. Then I go check and see whats on TV, and then about 3pm I'll eat breakfast. Then I could do just whatever the rest of the day, then a couple of hours later I'll start thinking about lunch, lets say, 9pm? that's like 6 hours, that's pretty fairly spaced. Then after lunch, watch a movie, and then go work out. Unfortunately this scheme wouldn't work in some parts of Mobile, I'd have to go to somewhere where I could safely run at night, and my neighborhood just isn't it. So I go run about midnight, get back and take a shower, then about 2 am have a little light dinner. Chill until I get tired at about 6 am, just as the sun is coming up, and then get up at 2pm and start the new day all over.

Needless to say, when I pitched this idea to my room mate, he thought I was a lunatic. But I'd just like to know what it'd be like not having to sleep. I remember someone telling me once that sleep was God's way of reminding us that we are not self sufficient; that we still need things. I don't know about all that, but it'd be cool to test out my theory of what a day would be like when it was lived outside the cultural (or maybe sociological?) norm.

I've dabbled here and there with this, but it really comes down to two things: (1) School/Work is in daytime, hence if you wanted any money, this whole thing would make no sense, unless you worked the night shift some time, and (2) Who the bump is gonna be up at 3 am that you can really hang out with and not feel like you're high because you're so tired (that's the way it works out with me at least, I'm the one who's awake, and the other guy is dying...).

Just something to think about I guess.

New Blog

2008-06-01T02:55:00.002-04:00

I have this sneaky desire to be hip and esoteric, with cute sayings and contradictions that secretly make sense if you read them with the right inflection. All because I'm starting a BLOG, and when I think of blog I think of people I knew in high school who wore black, and could get away with that emo style. We all know the type, the kind that stew in their own problems, while secretly wanting you to join in and talk to them about them. Yes, those kids that don't smile much, but are usually funny, and somehow they can write a paragraph of complaining nonsese on the internet without actually saying ANYTHING. Well, funny story, I'm not that guy.

No, really my goal for this is to follow through on what I start. I'd like to look back on this in a couple of months and see more than this entry. As to what I actually write, I'm not sure I've decided yet what its gonna be on. Just random stuff that goes on, I'm travelling a bit this summer so I'm sure some of that will find itself in here. I hear more and more about blogs, and I also hear they can be pretty darn addictive, so we shall see...